Solving the stage fright #1

In my previous post I shared some thoughts about the social psychology course with you. Today I would like to go deeper in the topic and use the new knowledge to analyze the stage fright.

     I believe, we are not born with the stage fright. It develops through time under a number of circumstances, more intensively in some people, less in other... Some work on it or struggle with it; probably, some lucky ones do not have such problem at all. I do have it and it seems to me very irrational and disturbing. Trying to to become a better speaker, I inevitably think,

WHY DO WE HAVE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Not an easy question which we are not able to answer yet, so let’s start working on it from the real life situation. 

     I am in front of the public. What do I feel? 

Think what your thoughts are, rather than emotions and physical condition.

I feel fear, as if there is a physical threat.

I feel pressure of responsibility and loss of control.

Why do I feel it?

Because several pairs of judgemental eyes are staring? People make

conclusions willingly or unwillingly. And everyone knows it. Probably you also feel like you have no right to make mistakes, because then you will be ashamed and disgraced. No one wants to be ashamed and show their weaknesses to the others. 

And why do you feel what you feel?

      You see, there are some expectations about the speech or even the result, the impact of it. The expectations may concern not only the reaction of audience but also your own reaction and more globally, the opinion people would have about you.

     And as a tendency these expectations are negative. We may expect people to be bored or uninterested, even irritated, making fun of us, being disappointed. If we expect this, what motivation and inspiration would we have? If I don’t believe in myself , how people can? If I show them, that the information is not worth it, or speaker is not worth it, they get the signal immediately and stop listening. We expect it to be a fail, we act like it is a fail and it is a fail consequently.

This phenomena is called self-fulfilling prophecy. It refers to the socio-psychological phenomenon of someone "predicting" or expecting something, and this “prediction” or expectation comes true simply because one believes it will, and their resulting behaviors align to fulfil those beliefs.

    Our predictions have power, they can control our behavior and influence other people. 

    Sometimes it helps me to imagine that other people’s thoughts are similar to mine, if I think about my or other person’s speech, that it wasn’t the best, but it’s ok, maybe people think so too? Maybe failures are not always the reasons to dislike the person, and are they really enough to change our opinion? It helps, but what is more important, we don’t know what other people have in the mind. And that’s for better. Let’s leave their thoughts to them! 

   There is probably no panacea for fright to be cured once and forever.

Fright can be growing, because it is fed by the lack of successful.

It requires experience and preparation and work as well, but it is more controllable, when we are more mindful about it. The knowledge is power, and if we know more about our enemy, we are more likely to win.